Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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