I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
