god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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