Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My Higher Power is John Stamos
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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