Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize