he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
