I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
