Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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