they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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