So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
