arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
There are leaves in my underwear?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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