I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
