we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
