I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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