Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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