if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
