Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Congratulations! We have a period
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