no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
