If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
