If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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