I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
