What did we do last night that was yellow?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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