once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
