i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
