Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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