I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
