Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
handjob tips. give me some.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
