Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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