so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
only you would photoshop your dick
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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