Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
