I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
