She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
