Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
do herpes really smell.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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