Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
