I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
