Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
