You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
