I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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