he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
