There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
