How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
