My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
