I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
