another moral hangover. fuck.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
