Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
there is glitter all over my balls
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
