I wannas sexs uuuuu
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
