I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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