i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
