I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
