it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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