Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
