Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
