My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im holly from the hills drunk
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize