i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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