I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
