is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
