the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
