I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Randomize
