Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
