But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
