He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
soo... how was my night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
