Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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