there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize