Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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